june 2008 pg 2

Archive – June 20083 commentsNo You’re outta order.
Posted Jun-22-08 16:30:40 PDTOOoopss!

Messed up.

Change in class schedule:

That would be the 8Am Class on Monday?

Correct?

I know, Iknow comments On but hidden.

Think of it as my eBay Blogland answering machine and your opportunity to leave me really amazing messages of your displeasure of this fact.

Oh, and while you’re at it

how about reading the blog too.

Besides I’m writing here.

And it’s Sunday.

And summer.

So I’m taking advantage of my “IJDGAS” syndrome and resting.

After all like they say in that song.

The one from Annie the Musical.

Yeah the one with the real live dog.

No not the one with the little dog.

Yes, I’m sure.

The one with the little dog is Wicked.

The little dog’s name in that one is TOTO.

You know the Broadway musical

they talked about in Ugly Betty.

The one accountant dude got tickets for.

The one with the girl friend Not Betty.

Yeah Henry.

The dog in Annie. The Musical?

That’s Sandy.

Of course that’s right.

No not right the direction

Right the correct.

Hey this is 12 dogs and a blog.

We keep up with this dog stuff.

(So like they sing in the Annie. The Musical musical.)

Moooonndaayyy,

Moooonndayy,

Monnndaaayyy,

Monnndaaayyy.

It’s only

ahhh

ddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!

Now on to yer class. I hear the teacher now. She’s asking an important eBay economy question.

Why yes she is. She’s askin’

Okay class. What is a Dingleberry?

(And look!

I think one of our very own

Blogland Bloggers may just have the answer!)

I gotta go the dog is trying to eat my shoe.

Cya

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0 commentsGuess Whooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Jun-22-08 16:05:35 PDT

History 101

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2 commentsOkay class. What is a Dingleberry?
Posted Jun-22-08 16:04:28 PDT Updated Jun-22-08 16:06:57 PDTYes, Pegs. You raised your hands?

So what is a Dingleberry and what is it’s “value” in today’s economy?

Yeah I know, I know. Comments are On but Hidden. So go what’s the problem?

Go wild with them answers.

Guess Whooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Comment|Report this post
0 commentsPup and WB’s great adventure
Posted Jun-22-08 15:56:48 PDT Updated Jun-23-08 08:20:54 PDTWhoo hooo! Not only are Pup and WB back, they had a great adventure. So great that they needed they’r own post!!!

Well, the first thing to tell you is that they are both back safe and sound. I’m really glad that Pup went with WB to this wedding. He and Pup were the only two people there from WB’s side of the family. She didn’t have family either. So sad. BUT it speaks well of them that they had so many friends there to celebrate. You may not remembet but this is the fella who found out he had the inoperable cancer. His wife sounds terrific. WB and Pup both agreed that he seems really happy and that his new wife is a sweet heart. See, I don’t have a hard heart when it comes to marriage when two people are so happy. This is a good un’. They both have a sense of humor. I’m sorry that you don’t get to know him. He is so funny. He wasn’t really lucky at life with his first marriage. All water under the bridge. I think that’s the thing about these two. They don’t seem to clutter up their lives with the past. Don’t have time. He is given at most 6 months. Like I said, they don’t have time to mess around.

So what next? Well hopefully we get postcards from the happy couple. They plan to travel. Going to Europe!!!! Good. Send postcards if you can spare a minute. Otherwise please spend your time being happy.

I think I’m going to try that out. Don’t think that a person can be happy all the time. But I like this idea of clearing out the “clutter” in their minds. Just do the stuff that makes them happy. Yes, legal and moral. The trouble is that we let imaginary responsibilites bind us so. Or we bind ourselves to those responsibilities. Hmmm. I’m all for being a responsible adult but sheesh there is a limit and you can say no.

Now there is other news. Pup, the kiddo who I thought would spend the rest of his days in blue jeans and tshirts with his boxers showing, my Pup? He wore his tie. And he wore his nice shirt and chinos. AND he did it without complaining. He looks so good dressed up but getting him to do so has been like trying to ammend the Constitution. A real effort. But he is growning up. He had such a good time I hear. AND they got him and WB to dance! Apparently WB nearly knocked someones eye out doing it but still. WB? Pup? Dance? Well Pup might but WB? 😀

That is good fun.

Now. here’s some gossip.

There was a girl.

I am so mad at WB and his Sphinx like attitude. He comes all the way back home to tell me that there was a cute girl, nice family, that keep drinking the non alcholic Champagne every time pup did. EVERYTIME!! Did Pup notice her? Yes. Did he say anything to her. NO. ARGGHH. I wouldn’t have been mad at WB about this if he’d been oblivious but he comes telling me about it. AARGGGGGHHHH. If I’d been there, I’d have told Pup to at least say hello. I’ll bet from the sound of it she’d have taken it from there. Is okay though. Seems new Aunt knows her parents. I’m sorry for being a busy body but good grief. You know, Pup is not shy about talking to people but when it comes to girls, I swear, the girl will have to lasso him. With me he talks a mile a minute. With complete strangers he is chatty. When a girl comes a long? Nuthin’. I think it must run in our mutual gene pools. WB is the same way. So was my brother. The woman my brother married? It took 5 people at her work to get them introduced. They kept telling each of them that there was this person they’d be perfect for. Nuthin. Same with my dad and my mom. I’ll have to write about that story sometime. Talk about a series of near misses. It’s a wonder I was even born. That’s why I like WB’s brother. None of this flitterflattering around. Uhuh.

Cross your fingers. It’s not like I’m trying to marry him off or anything but he needs to speak up. Even in this day when there are girls who ask guys out, not everyone does. And since he is coming back and telling me about the girls he’s noticed. Well. I can nudge now. Don’t want to be pushy but this does call for a yenta nudge.

Anyway, I’m thinking a call to WB’s brother will be a good thing. We’ll see.

Well that’s not all the adventure. Thing is WB and Pup have gone to town to do “stuff” and that’s all I could get out of them this morning. They are pretty tired from their trip so I don’t want to bug them for more info until tonight.

Take Care. Ann

If you haven’t read the rest of this week’s blog? Then Say a liitle prayer…

Back to

12 dogs and a blog’s “Recomended Reading List for This Week in Summer” reading list.Comment|Report this post
0 commentsHistory 101
Posted Jun-22-08 15:47:27 PDT Updated Jun-22-08 16:38:39 PDTSo. No I haven’t finished Alice Adventures and no I haven’t left and well I couldn’t bear to deprive you of bad spelling and run on sentences this week. And since this Fall is General Election but this Summer is where the candidates screw up.

I thought I’ keep writing a bit longer.

Told you when I get bored it makes me write. And hot but I just blame that on P2 and summer. Don’t know what P2 is?

Why not? I wrote about it in my blog.

Side bar. Now whenever I talk about stuff, I’ve written enough here in the blog, I can reference me self. Fun huh. WB (Walking Buddy) is getting the big head. He might want to read the blog first before he puts it on his Recommend Reading List for Summer though. Tee Hee!

As for my 12 dogs Recomended Reading List for this week in Summer??

Here’s what I suggest.

First go to “This day in History.101.”

From there take the prompt to You’ve got mail!.

Happy week ya’ll.

I’m in and out but where ever I’m about?

I’ll send you a PostCard and let you know how the summer’s going.

Regards.

AuthorAnn

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0 commentsThis day in History.101.
Posted Jun-22-08 15:43:00 PDT Updated Jul-17-08 14:24:55 PDTSo okay. Everybody needs to know a little history. And as we all know history is all about dates and History 😛

(There is a HERStory on the class schedule. I got it in scheduling. The person that told me this was wearing an “I’m for Hillary.” button. Don’t get mad at me. I am just tellin’ ya what I was told folks. Sheesh.)

Which ever way it works we at 12 dogs wanta’ be edumacated.

So here it is. That guide to the day in history. All dates annotated with why we should care. A learning tool otherwise known as History101. The Musical. (You’re supposed to hum Pomp and Circumstance while reading this. OR wait a sec. Do you have these songs on your playlist… already? If you go check make sure to come right back. You don’t want to miss this day in history.)

(Note to gentle reader. If you want to know this day in HERStory? Look for a future post called, “The Cranky Old Feminist Does Politics or What I found out during Dem. Party” . Stay tuned!!

The list:

Before we begin our LOB’s (list of birthdays) I have news. Today in Santa Monica, I’m hearing that George Carlin died of Congestive Heart Failure. He was 71.

He makes me think of Newt’s story about the man on the Santa Monica pier. The one who goes to the end of the pier and decides not to lead an ordinary life.

George Carlin didn’t live an ordinary life.

For a whole lot of people George Carlin brought the funny while he made us think in new, often controversial, ways about this world. Thanks to him we learned the 7 words that you couldn’t say on the radio. We laughed at the punchline, “…Acapulco Gold? No, Toledo window box.:”. Mostly we learned to laugh at a time that wasn’t so laughable. Through his eyes we saw the world in ways that “the establishment” didn’t want folks to “see”.

I know that this new crew that’s finding their political voice think they made the world but they didn’t. They are only one link of a very long chain who have also found the world. Found themselves.

Excuse the level of this joke.

But…

“This new political crowd. They walk the Earth like they were Spaceman Columbus and just discovered the world. Real 21st century political pioneers. But they didn’t. Long before they were a glimmer, a glimmer, in their parents eyes? There was Lenny Bruce. Humor so blue and so political. Found the cause of racial equality? Try King, Rev. Martin Luther King. Whose “peace movement” wasn’t new either but was inspired by another new kiddo on the blockfor his time, Gandi. Feminists for Hillary? Try feminist when women couldn’t vote. When women weren’t a voting block at all.

Thank you George Carlin. For showing me another world. Reminding me that the world is all kinds of colors and ideas.

See ya’ in the stars.

Ann

PS. You know what the ultimate George Carlin routine would be? If this was an internet rumor started by Carlin himself.

Naw, it can’t be. NY Times wouldn’t print up a fake Obit.

But it would be a pretty funny homage (Is that how you spell it? Uhm– definition number two.) to the author of the “hippy dippy weatherman”. 😀

Which ever way life’s river goes? I think I’ll take Newt’s advice and instead of ANALysing and ASSuming, I’m going to just go with the flow.

There are advantages to slackerdom. So.

Now kiddies don’t be sad. To have lived a long life (71) to have had an opportunity to speak up on issues that others wanted to do but didn’t feel they were able to and to do it in such a way that had us all laughing. Now that is a good thing. For all his sorrows, I hope that he will this day be in heaven and know the same equal happiness.

(But then I’m a pessimistic optimist that has experienced alot of irony in my life. * I, still am not that cynic, I believe that the good Lord loves us all. I believe in heaven. I believe it because it is God’s own word. If it isn’t true, then God would have lied. That would have meant that God broke his/her own commandment. Do you believe that God can break his own commandment? If God is truth? I don’t normally get into the religious realm. It’s personal what we believe. And that is protected by the US Constitution. First Ammendment. Separation of Church and State: Establishment clause and Free Exercise clause. Not a fence to keep religion out of government but a fence to keep government out of religion. Religious freedom. Means that to believe or not to believe? It’s not government’s question. )

Gracie, if a miracle happened and you read this, Think.

“Time or – “A Parenthesis in Eternity ” “*

*This is attributed to another author. A very good author. A life is alot like a “Parenthesis in Eternity”. What comes before and after? Everyone has an opinion.

Author’s, in the big picture, write from the middle.

…Time…Time…Time…Time…

The Geometrical definition is a line. Not a “line segment” or a “ray”.

The Gramatical definition is an elipse. That’s those liittle dots above. Shows that something came before and something came after. That there are word there but the author left them out. Important form of punctuation. Miss used alot. It’s not a pause. The punctuation mark for a pause can look like this “-” (dash) and like this “,” (comma). No words are left out when you see these punctuation marks. I think that this ” is specifically for the physical act of pausing but this “,” is not just for it’s historical use by printers to indicate a pause but it’s also used for organization of thought. Of course so is a pause. Just ask GW. 😀 But we were talking about elipses. Thing is, Gentle Reader, if you see an elipse? Take note.

There are two different forms of an elipse. “…” means that there are words missing. You can use this punctuation mark at the beginning, middle, and I think end of a clause. The second form of an elipse comes at the end of a sentence. It looks like this “….” four dots. This means that the end of a sentence is missing.

Sorry, I didn’t intend for this to be a mini lecture on punctuation or Geometry for that matter. I just thought that symbolically they fit the discussion of such words as “time”, “eternity”, and even “death”. LOL That and we do now use symbolic language so much more these days. Emotocons. :D, like pictograms on the walls of a cave in France, do communicate our intentions. Some like 🙂 are absolutely necessary on the internet where facial and voice expressions that would give us clues to words meanings are lacking. Can mean the difference between a joke and a serious fight. Or it can indicate irony. Anyway.

I’ll move this to a separate post this week. Just jotted it down here as it is a tangent to the news of Mr. Carlin’s death. One of his comedy routines was about religion and such. It fits. AuthorAnn.

So let’s laugh okay.

Here’s the list of LOB’s.

Hope they give you a giggle.

First. 26 June, 2008

On this day in history, Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton, met together in Unity, New Hampshire, in what is billed as the first real rally of the 2008 General Election Political season.

It was cheesy and stupid.

Also in this day in history, because of said stupid rally in Unity, NH and the bordom it induced, the first issue of the RedNeck Politico here on eBay was born in the kitchen of one WriterAnn. Not a particularly political person, Ann wasn’t trying to be a political satirist, nope, she was trying to get out off doint the laundry when inspiration struck her like a lightning bolt. Like any good writer/slacker would do, she she avoided doing said laundry and went straight away and wrote it down.

The rest is hopefully hilarious history to keep us from being bored here at eBay and hopefully get Ann a job as a writer.

Of course being worried that she’d get banned from her political blog didn’t hurt either.

It’s parody folks and it’s meant in fun. All sides got parodied so stop yelling and laugh at what I wrote about the other guy/girl depemding. LOL

Now on to the dates from last week:

Born Sunday, June 22nd.

Carson Daly – b. 6-22-73 d. Hasn’t.

Carson Daily is a very late night talkshow host week nights on NBC. Yes children, there is another talkshow that comes on even later than The Late Late Show with Tv’s Craig Ferguson(TLLSwTCF). Unless of course it’s pre empted by that up all night poker show. Or the wrestling show that Frisky likes. Or golf. No wait that’s The Late Late Show with Tv’s Craig Ferguson. Admitedly a pain when this happens to TLLSwTCF but you do get to see that Irish guy. His name is David something or other. That man is a fox in a suit with an accent that’ll make you melt. I put up with the golf stuff just to hear his commentary. Heck I’d watch him read the phone book.

Donald Faison – b. 6-22-74 d. Also hasn’t.

Donald Faison is the good lucking guy on Scrubs which is also on NBC. He plays Carla’s husband and is best friend to the other guy. I love this show but I can’t remember the other characters name. And since I’m almost finished posting here, I am NOT going to look it up. If I remember it in time I’ll put the name HERE(JD?) otherwise if you’re a fan of Scrubs you’ll know who I’m talking about and if you aren’t why should you care. Heck why should I care? Wait, I don’t so move it along. Nothing more to see here.

Meryl Streep – b. 6-22-49 d. NO SHE IS NOT DEAD. She is a beloved screen and stage actress who will live forever on the golden screen. If you haven’t seen Sophie’s Choice or Kramer v. Kramer rent them and spend your Sunday afternoon watching these two films. Bring Kleenex because you will cry.

VERY important message from the future. OMG OMG OMG Meryl Streep is playing the female lead in the movie MamaMia! I don’t know wheither to be thrilled or in the throws of dismal hysteria. WHY? And they have her singing. I will attend. For moral suport. Or to throw expensive popcorn. I have that stupid song in my head for days because of the comercial.Only the fact that a woman my age gets woo’d has me going.(Sigh,no not wood, although that would be a good reason. Woo’d as in pitched. LOL Idiot.)

Well like I just said Meryl Streep, unlike the above two bozos, is a beloved film and stage STAR. An ACTRESS. When you look up the word “actress” in the dictionary? Meryl is the example. Heck, if you look up the word “actor” she’s the example. She’s just better than anyone else. Of course there are some really good female actresses. I’d hate to ignore them, hmmm, okay when you look up the word “actor” she’s the example. For the word “actress” she’s one of the best. There. I like that.

Rent the movies and you’ll see.

Come back and yell at me if I’m wrong.

Now folks. If it is still Sunday when you read this please stop reading. Otherwise you won’t be surprised for Monday. If this is Australia? Keep reading and then tell us what Monday going to be like.

Born Monday, June 23.

Josh Whedon b. 6-23-54

I don’t know who Josh Whedon is and I don’t care. Hey, it’s my blog. Don’t make me come over to your blog and explain why I don’t have to look this stuff up if I don’t want to.

Just like the “Donald Faison’s character’s best friend on Scrubs” thing, if you are a fan, you know this stuff and if you are not you can come visit me. I don’t care.

Clarence Thomas – b. 6-23-48 d. No. Still causing grief to Dem. Liberals and feminists who are old enough to have a sense of feminist history since the Reagan Administration or maybe it was it the Bush administration.

Now see I’m one of those really old cranky feminist type folks who remember what a hair on a soft drink can has to do with the confirmation hearings of a US Supreme Court justice. It was a big deal, let me tell you. Big, as in blue dress big. I’d tell you to drag out your history books and look it up. Unfortunately this is probably gonna require Google or maybe Wiki. Or Wickedi depending on whose side you’re on.

No matter you should look it up so you’ll look smart to your friends during the upcoming General Election. You know if there was a pop quiz, this kind of thing is gonna’ be on it. Plus he IS a US Supreme Court justice. Also please go look up who Sandra Day O’Connor is as well as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Harriet Miers. Please.

Then if you’re younger than 25 look up the lyrics to “I am Woman” .

Here’s some of the lyrics:

“I am woman hear me roar/in numbers too big to ignore / and I know to much to go back and pretend…”.

Unless, I’m told, you are in the Dem. Party with convienent definitions of sexism. Then, I’m told, you can pretend. Matter of fact, I hear, you are really good at it. 😀

Please, just look it up and make a cranky old feminist happy. Then try not to insult anymore old, cranky feminists just cause you liked Sen. Obama instead of Sen. Clinton.

Lawrence Block. b 6-25-38 d. Not dead.

This is a man who speaks in complete sentences and brings prezzies. What more do you need to know.

Google him if you want to know the titles of his books. There’s a bunch. CF of TLLSwithTCF likes to ask him when he’s going to write another book. Always the same answer in various forms. Like no.

Thank you.

Now back to this day in History 101.

Okay there are alot of other folks to add to this list but I’m going to wait. If I put them all on the list now, you won’t have new stuff to read in the middle of the week. You’ll grumble about this lack of new stuff. It may pizz you off. If it does, you might not come back here to read my blog.

That –would make me sad.

😦

I will make the following exception.

June 25th is George Michael’s birthday.

This day, as you know, is a national holiday over on The Late Late Show with Tv’s Craig Ferguson. So go see if you can down load some “WHAM”(that’s a song people) and get out the festive party hats and balloons. Heck I’m making cupcakes. And let’s all stay up past our bedtimes and watch Wednesday’s Late Late Show. Try real hard to stay awake and act like you give a durn. You’re good actors and actresses. You can do it! Why you are whining? Beause . Look it’s important because incase you haven’t heard it like a million times, Tv’s Craig Ferguson is a new citizen and it will be his first George Michael’s birthday. A national holiday and all. We really do need to make it special. So buck up and act interested. If you do a good job the dictionary will add your name to the list of “actress” and “actor” examples.

Good Luck!!

What happened 26 June, 2008

I had a great day. Same for the next day. Basically I have 4 whole weeks of good days. Just so you’ll know. Same for Pup. We just are going to have a great summer.

A happy family summer. Back with more this day in history.

No more dates for now. Back soon with more “This date in History 101”

Author Ann

So now that you’re all up on the important history stuff, just thought I’d let you know-

You’ve got mail!

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1 commentRedNeck Politico
Posted Jun-21-08 17:00:35 PDT Updated Sep-13-08 03:08:19 PDT

Now hear this. This feature is designed to be a parody. A parody of everybody. I am NOT taking sides. If I wrote this correctly you will think I’m terrible to your guy or gal no matter who that is. Besides as a Southerner, from what I can tell, neither candidate’s party likes us. I’m not anti American. I’m anti politician. So why not parody them all. Thing is we’re Americans. There is just so much in fighting in the parties when what we should be doing is coming together as Americans.

Welcome to the first issue of RedNeck Politico.

Take your tranquilizer and say “Ommm”.

“I’m going to need Hillary by my side campaigning during this election, and I’m going to need all of you,” Obama said.

LOL! What is it about politics? Men always need a woman to get them elected president but the same woman isn’t good enough to be on the Ticket for said presidency.

ROFLMBO. Wha’ Michelle not enough to get you elected now you need Hillary too? Sheesh.

Yes, Gentle Reader, I was so bored. Which is a good thing because that get’s me to writing and since I was in Mr. Politic’s Political Neighborhood—

Welcome to the first entry of a Red Neck Politico looks at the ‘O8 elections.

OR

A Parody of Unity for your Friday funny ammusement. Think of is as fan fic for the political junky in all of us.

The curtain opens. We begin.

“Folks I’d like to thank you for coming to our Unity Rally for Unity here in Unity, NH. Where I miss a FISA vote inorder to do this very important rally to get us Dems Unified.

Today Sen. Clinton and I are UNITED in our efforts to get a Dem in the White House. Isn’t that correct Hillary.”

“Why yes it is Barack. I thin—”

“Uh yeah thanks Hillary. Remember this all about the Unity. We must keep our focus on what is important. Isn’t that right Michelle?”

From somewhere in the distance ,”That’s right honey. I love you!!!! Oh and I thing that we—-”

“Yes thank you too Michelle. Remember. Focus. The focus of the rally is getting a Dem, ME, in the White House.”

“You know Barack–”

“Uh that would be PRESIDENT Barack, Hillary. Remember the focus of this very important rally is UNITY and getting me elected to President.

Right. Now everybody. Come on let’s show those “low information high school dropouts for Hillary” supporters in the way they understand. Let’s all shout “UNITY! UNITY! UNITY!! Right honey?

Michelle?”

” I love you honey!! You’re the best!!! No blue dress in your closet”

“UNITY! UNITY! UNITY!”

“But Barack–”

“Now Hil we agreed. We knew this was just a one day stand for Unity. After all my heart belongs to—”

“Barack Obama for President!!!! Excellent you got it. Would someone call the pilot? Uh Hill, I got a fundraiser. You don’t mind taking a cab. I think one of my aides may can get you cabfare to the bus. Does this place even have a bus? Hmm. Where’s their ecological backbone. As president I will be all about the energy. Anybody want to hear my “coal as clean energy speech?”

“But Barack–”

“That would be President Barack, Uh, yeah, Hill what is it?”

“You promised to help retire my debt.”

“LOL and you believed that?

Come on man I did my part. Gave you a check. So did Pritzi. Now back to the Senate with ya’. This check is cheap to get you outta my hair. Don’t hold your breath about being on the ticket. I need someone else less, accomplished. Some pretty young thing to decorate my arm. You know being a VP is a joke job anyway. You’d hate it. You’d get all bitter and resentful. Kind of like being President Bill’s wife. Besides having you around reminds me that I didn’t win by a mandate. You had to quit. Or have you quit? Would someone tell me if she actually released her delegates? Have to screw these durn people in the ground. Damm. Where was I? You see Hill, you’re a person that almost half of the Dem Party thought would be a better president than I would? I really hate that. Now go on off you go Sweety.

Oh and don’t forget! Your vote is important to me.” LOL

“Why thank you Barack. I can still call you Barack?

You know Barack, one of the things my extensive experience as a political wife and first lady has taught me is when to smile, sit still, and hush up. Oh and cross my legs at the ankles. And take the check. ALWAYS take the campaign contribution. Anyhoo.

Barrack, bless your heart, I appreciate this rally and your financial support. I wouldn’t have dreamed of missing this oportunity, here in Unity, NH, to appeal to my supporters to help retire my campaign, cough debt cough, and help us put a Dem in the White House. Cough me cough. I know that you wouldn’t miss this oportunity either. Of course we would dream of missing that Senate vote. Durn didn’t bring my glasses, I think that part says, Ha ha, Solis can you read my hand writing? Oh sorry you work for the Barrack campaign. Well do it anyway after all we’re all one great big family. One great big disfunction family. Where was I?

But hey this is more important than those old pesky civil liberties, right? Now I will just take these grateful love offerings and be on my way. Cough to the White House, cough. Sorry must be allergic to something.

Oh and speaking of missing the vote, why look
Barack, isn’t that Sen. McCain over there talking to reporters?”

“What the fu–. What’s he doi– Uh–

Why yes it is Hillary. Why it is Sen. McCain. Hmm he’s talking to Faux News. I can’t quite make out what he’s saying. Something about a series of debates. Cough would someone call security cough just wait till I get elected..I’m thinkin a wire ta… or maybe one of those post dated warrents–cough. Oh sorry Hillary I just coughed in your face didn’t I. I must have that same kind of allergy you do. Cough

Meanwhile out in the crowd with Fox News in tow.

“Well yes it isn’t politics as usual to follow the Democratic folks around like this. But hey I did say I’m not politics as usual. I’m gonna stalk my prey until they give me those debates I’ve been demanding. I am a Maverick don’t ya’ know. Like the Tom Cruise character in Top Gun. Like the Prez I’m a Misson Accomplished kind of guy. Unlike that bozo, I’m a real live war hero. The real deal. Photo? Why sure. Hang on lemmie put my grin on… I got several for different occasions, les see for this photo I’m thinking the “Howdy Doody” grin is the best… I got it in my pocket somewhere.

Every body say “cheeeesee”.

Next question.

Hmmmm. Miss the FISA vote? Oh that is a good one. Well as Sen. Clinton and Sen Obama have both said we are presidential and well our vote or leadership in the Senate on this issue wouldn’t Cough count for much anywhy so. Besides this FISA stuff is an important tool in fighting those evil doers.

I can see why they wouldn’t waste their time.

Cough, Hmm must be allergic to somethin’

Well gotta go!!!

Thanks for coming to Unity!!!”

Meanwhile, watching CNN coverage of the event in his fortress of Solitude, President Bill says the magic words.

“Nope. She didn’t release those delegates.

Oh and I really don’t like that Mr. Bill thing either…”

To be continued…

You could read the rest of this blog but then you could also get lost in this blog. Only the brave should go further than this. Besides you’ll miss the most current part of 12 dogs so resist and instead go to back to the beginning or Magic Realism

You’ll be glad. Besides you can always come back here later.

Wow.

LOL. Why are you yelling. This is suppose to be politial parody. The late nights are all pre chewed and ever since SNL went into hibernation there’s not alot out there. You could take up a collection for me so I can get one of those Ipods so I can watch the DailyShow and Colbert Report on season pass. Besides this is Summer and my happy time.

I did tell you I was a writer.

Please.

Thing is this blog isn’t anti Obama. Or anti Clinton. Or anti McCain.

Nope. It’s anti stupid

And it’s a parody, political satire, so it’s supposed to be entertaining.

This isn’t about my vote for pres in Nov. Well maybe it is but I’m not a troll or evil.

Is is how this Unity thing could be parodied.

Please. See how polite I am I said please.

I wrote it for a reason.

So please. Tell me why this anouncement was more important than the FISA Vote. Please tell me that they didn’t do this thinking it would over shaddow the FISA vote in the “spincycle” or Sunday morning sound bites. Or maybe they’re all just protecting a tool in their presidential wanna be tool chest.

See that’s stupid. Civil liberty protection in a big time Democrat thing. Oh and as an add benefit a big time Independent and Libertarian and Green Party… well you get the idea. It’s a big issue. Even to alot of republicans. If you’d have voted for it, even if you lost you’d won because it would have been a ralling cry for this unified Dem party. Alot more unifing than the Unity Rally. Oh except for the press for the Unity Chamber of comerce and the citizen’s of Unity. Good for ya’ll. This isn’t a parody of you.

Only way that this announcement would have been a big spin on Sunday. Well there’s two so one of the only ways they’d have done that is if they announced a running mate. Which of course they can’t do because from the looks of it, it won’t be Hillary so to anounce anyone else would just pizz off Hillary supporters even MORE.

Besides look at the economic news.

LOL. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Thanks for reading this Friday’s edition of

The RedNeck Politico.

Woof!

Oh and

*Do you have these songs on your playlist…

?

Can’t Hurry Love by The Supremes.

Do the Panic by Phantom Planet

500 miles by The Proclaimers

( This is the song I’d actually play on those great big political rally speakers at the “Unity” rally. Will get everyone marching together in one great, big, Unified group. Heck you could get so much Unity you could do Halftime Shows at the Superbowl. Oh meebee not. There was that fiasco with Janet and what’s his face, uh ,Justin. LOL Could you imagine. Instead of Janet and Justine? Hil and Barack? LOL I think I’ll write it just for the heck of it. Wonder if ole Hil would wear a ni–uh better not. Meanwhile, cue 5 foot tall, Heavy Metal speakers “And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the..” Ah well Google it. )

I’m too sexy. by Right Said Fred didn’t make the cut. But.

You know there is a person. A person who puts the “arrow” in my definition of the word “quiver”. They are not too sexy. They are just right sexy. 😀

So. This song didn’t make the cut.

Happy Reading, Author Ann.

Well you can’t say I didn’t tell you ahead of time. Happy 4th.

This is dedicated …

The rest of 12 dogs?

Dear Dr. Spock, My tongue is numb is this normal?

Comment|Report this post
0 commentsoff the page Other Questions of the day.
Posted Jun-21-08 16:58:46 PDT Updated Jun-26-08 19:15:45 PDT>>>>>Other Questions of the Day.

There are three questions of the day because it’s the weekend and these are good weekend questions.

If I don’t get to post on Monday, this will give you a Monday question to tide you over until Tuesday.

Don’t read the first question. If you do you might not have anything to read on Monday. It will spoil your Question of the Day experience. Then you’ll be angry with me or at the very least annoyed.

I don’t like that.

Okay. The question that is really for Monday but I’m posting now in case I don’t get to post tomorrow and I know how much you look forward to this Question of the Day post and well I kind of like that in a weird and wanderful (intentional typo) way. And I kind of like these questions in a weird and wonderful way. And it’s Sunday afternoon and raining so while I should be snogging, which between me and you I would rather be doing but I’m not due to “celebacy rules”. And because I’m hoping that at least one of my gentle readers is a good lookin’ fella that’ll make my heart go. OOOOH and hopefully didn’t read my Man Rant about how all men were unsuccessfully weaned as babies and therefore spend the rest of their lives trying to find “the great big, soft round things that made the pang in their stomach go away so they can roll over and go to sleep” thingy they lost so tragically as babies. Women just get weaned and guilted. That’s another rant though where I chat about anorexia, poor body image and guilt. Women don’t look for “for the big round soft things that made the pang in their stomach go away so the can roll over and go to sleep” thingy. Some women are so successfully weaned that they actually have a negative conditioning to breasts. They certainly weren’t able to joyfully experience the full belly portion either. Nope. They either gave that up when puberty meant being flat chested was going to be a life style and became fashion models who make women feel even more guilty because they aren’t thin. Or they had those “great big round soft things” and spent the rest of their life time hoping that the guys they talk to would for once look up and notice they had a face. (and a brain as well)

See I’m a conflicted feminist. I’m going to fuss and rightfully so about the stupidity of body image and how alot of it comes from unsucessfully weaning our wee babes. That’s the feminist part. But then I’m going to hope like heck that there is a good lookin’ fella reading this who will think, “Ah, a humorous female who likes polka dot plunge bras and can write. And notices that I have a brain too.”D

Oh and points if you have a sense of humor and folks are always stopping you to say,”Geeze, you look just like George Clooney.” That would be the conflicted part. I would say “…just like Tv’s Craig Ferguson…” Thing is I like to keep my “… admittedly shallow, hubba hubba, reaction to great looking men who are smart funny and have a brain and are actually funny without pandering to the TwoP.” from my crushes on “shalow but admittedly good looking and sexy men who while they are smart and funny and do have a brain and are actually funny but who unfortunately act like TwoP’s b #tch”. Sorry did I actually write that? Yes. I did because I still hope that the later will snap outta it and show those (cough) ladies of Twop who’s the boss. I’d just love that ’cause I like him all, ” I can’t live by your rules man” with the tossled hair. The tossled GREY hair by the way. I LIKE the grey hair but then I like grown men too. Not like the ones in the commercial. Those guys look like the men’s underwear photos in the old mail order catalogs. Hmmm. Cheesy. I just like the salt and pepper, tossel headed, whip cracking, seriously intense, tie loosened, shoeless feet on the desk, seriously sex, even better than Geoge Clooney, T’v’s Craig Ferguson. Won’t even begin to tell you what the suit and loosened tie does for my day. Yummy.

I just hate it when he acts like TwoP’s B #tch.

But I LURVE it when he’s all butch.

Maybe he should bring back the whip crack. 😀

Until he does? Separate catagory.

While we’re are on this subject, did I tell you I thought Craig Ferguson was the realists George Clooney. I’m not fixated on the man. I just liked that sentence as a quote. That and the other one about him being “The thinking woman’s eye candy. ” That’s a good one too.

Thing is George Clooney is just so perfect. Looking at him- it’s like looking into the sun. Just too overwhelming an experience. Now this “new and improved Craig Ferguson? The one like was on last Friday?. He’s like if you took George Clooney, put him out into the sun (and rain) all summer. Oh and you also dunked him in the Citty Pool all summer (the one with so much chlorine that your eyes start to water before you get in the door -not to be confused with “Spicey Dragon Peaches’s pool.). Then if you didn’t moisturize him at all or put sunscreen on him and then left him outside without hosing him down first. That kind of Craig Ferguson. You know that kind of “driftwoody” look. Anyway if you did this to George Clooney? The result would be last week’s Tv’s Craig Ferguson. A “driftwoody” version of George Clooney.

Because, you see, George Clooney’s other address is Mt. Olympus (for alot of reasons ;D ). Last week’s Craig Ferguson you might actually see at the Target. Definately not Mt. Olympus address. But unlike George Clooney, last week’s Mr. Ferguson is scalable. “Scalable” that is the correct word right? I mean it llike “climbable”. Which is very much unlike George Clooney who’d leave us all breathless and in need of a hit of Oxygen and all when we got to the top. In comparison , last weeks Tv’s Craig Ferguson would be a stroll. No Oxygen required.

Well, I told you in “What did I learn tonight? Special Friday Edition” that I got all kinds of entertaining and writterly . 😀 Thanky. Thanky very much. Mmmmm. Now if we would just get that “I can’t live by your rules man” version of Tv’s CF back, I would be all kinds of satisfied and truthfully so would the ladies at TwoP. 😀

Makes us all kinda’ quiver a bit.

“Don’t you just love that word, “quiver”. No wait that’s for next week’s blog. Sorry.

The question: (finally)

If an unattractive woman charges 1 dollar for a kiss and a good lookiing woman asks for 3, how much should your smokin’ hot, Playmate of the Year cousin Susan ask you for one?

It’s a trick question.

You did get that right?

Wait, that was today’s question wasn’t it. I did that on purpose cause I figured you were going to read the question that I asked you specifically NOT to read but you read it anyway just like I would have because we are just that kinda’ person.

Wait a second. You mean your not that kinda’ person and you didn’t read the question like I asked? Hurrah!!! Neither am I.

IF IT”S SUNDAY? STOP READING!!!! NOW!!! Scroll down to the Note to Reader part.

If it’s Monday?

Sorry. Here’s the question for Monday that you’re not to read now. Unless of course it’s Monday. If that’s the case, well, read away.

So.

How come folks who will lecture on the evils of eating a hamburger or “…want fries with that…” will also be the ones who can fill you in on the latest stuff on TV?

I don’t know the answer. I eat the hamburgers and watch the pop stuff on TV. Thought maybe you might know.

Oh and incase you are in that demographic I listed above? You know. The “… admittedly shallow, hubba hubba reaction to, great looking men who are smart funny and have a brain and are actually funny without pandering to the TwoP.” That demographic. The one who actually thinks buying the paper clip off ebay as her last eBay purchase was funny?

That guy?

Email me.

Note to reader. That third question is now in the Past Questions of the Day section because today is now Sunday and yesterday is after all the past so I put the Saturday question in the past because that Saturday IS in the past and well that’s where it belongs. And no I don’t care if that bothers you because of the gramatical/syntax inconsistences between the sentence of the first paragraph and that of this paragraph. I don’t care. Nor do I care if I misspelled inconsistancy. II DON’T CARE. What are you like in bed? You probably micromanage every move. Forget it. I don’t want to know what you’re like. It might throw me off sex forever. After all this celebacy thing is a temporarry situation.

At least I hope so.

Past Questions of the Day (newest first)

Today is George Michael’s birthday.

How will you spend “Happy George Michael’s Birthday ” Day ?

I’m celebrating by wearing a funny hat and watching The Late Late Show with Tv’s Craig Ferguson. This is after all Mr. Ferguson’s first OFFICIAL “Happy George Michael’s Birthday” Day as a US citizen. Let’s try and make it special.

Let’s all send him an email wishing him a happy day.

LOL Hugs to you.

Auther Ann

Tuesday’s Question of the Day.

Did you know that there is a sci-fi movie called The Phantom Planet.

“…Oh, everybody’s hair was pink
Like the color of their drink
And I forgot the party had a theme …”

from Do thePanic by Phantom Planet from the album Raise the Dead

Back up. Back way back up and tell me if there is a theme for the 24 June, 08 TLLSwithTCf. I think so. Going try to get some sleep. Then think on it.

Also Do the Panic reminds me of The Hustle. The instrumental disco tune from the 1970’s. You could over lay them. Or do a call and response. Do the Panic as the call. The Hustle would be the response.

Dilemma!

I spent .99cents (1 dollar SH) on a ” bent paper clip in pizz poor condition…complete with scratches…”. I bought insurance. Paid for it via PayPal. Sent an email of notification that I had paid for said paper clip. And guess what. I have not yet received my paper clip.

Should I be worried?

Got my paper clip. LOL.

* Considering how expensive it is to date and how fragile those blow up dolls are, do you think that buying the Japanese girlfriend robot doll is a wise investment?

*What do you do if your life is as boring and annoying as “…drip…drip..” dripping water from the tap?

How do you cheer up?

off the page

Back to

*question of the day
Comment|Report this post
0 commentsabc
Posted Jun-21-08 16:56:21 PDT Updated Jun-28-08 05:15:24 PDTabcComment|Report this post
0 commentsdogs
Posted Jun-21-08 16:55:16 PDT Updated Jun-22-08 18:47:21 PDTGus was voted the ugliest dog. He’s got one eye and three legs. Looked pretty happy. What you recon the Ugliest dog gets as a prize. Dunno. I hear CBS Early Show is gonna have him on as a guest next week. So if we watch? Why I guess we’ll find out/

Back to Post Card from the Boonies of Life.
Comment|Report this post
0 commentsinvisble bump
Posted Jun-21-08 16:52:48 PDT Updated Jun-28-08 05:16:17 PDTinvisible bumpComment|Report this post
6 commentsThinking of leaving the blogs.
Posted Jun-21-08 16:30:29 PDT Updated Jun-21-08 17:06:31 PDTA while back someone was telling me of other places you could post blogs. I’m thinking of looking for another site to post on. Not necessarily to give up 12 dogs here but well. It’s been handy to have a blog site, email, buying on ebay to hang out. And well I’ve been thinking about it and well I lost a friend because of something someone said on the blogs. That’s what they told me. I miss talking to them and posting here reminds me of it. Just thought it would be good to have another blog site to post on.

Does anyone here know of other blog hosting sites for the neophyte blogger? Comments on but hidden.

This isn’t one of those I just trying to get folks to say don’t leave posts. The ones folks have done for their ego. I really dislike that type of blog. Manipulative. I just know that I’ve read folks have more than one blog. Thought I might ask.

The next stop? I dunno how about hereYou’ve got mail!

Really good music on the radio today. All retro. Nice.
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5 commentsWhat did I learn tonight. Special Friday Edition
Posted Jun-21-08 00:09:13 PDT Updated Jun-22-08 13:21:00 PDTWhat did I learn tonight?

That was an hour of my life that was truly wasted. And folks I am an expert at wasting time. I have raised wasting time to an artform. I have spent time bidding on stupid bent paper clips on ebay and gotten a short story, blog entries AND a metaphor out of it. Now THAT is creative loafing.

I have taken bored and turned it into the “drip” blog posts.

I have taken my own personal suffering and turned it into Hemorroid. The Blog.

But tonight?

Was stupid.

Tonight made my stupid bent paper clip look like high art.

I don’t get paid enough.

Trust me when I tell you this. I really don’t get paid enough.

Now you would think that after wasting my time I’d be pizzed. But, I am not.

Cause folks when I get bored? I get down right entertaining.

Hemorroid the blog?

drip

drip

drip

drip drip

drip

drip

Why I’m just tickled to death with this timely waste of my time.

Next time I’ll bring my laptop and a mojo.

Multitask.

Write. Yeppers. Write. Something I didn’t see a twit of tonight. Write while I watch this ” comedian that wasted the very air IT breathed”. I’ll be encouraged because if there are folks that get paid for stuff like I saw tonight? I know that I can too.

I can’t believe that these folks actually get paid.

Hello, the bloggers in Blogland on a off day could do better.

Dear mercy Tryork, on a truly slacker day when he is suffering from ennui due to IDGAS syndrome*, does a better job of writing than what I’ve seen tonight.

You know, I could do a better job.

100% better.

New song to playlist

Sara Barellies.

Bottle It Up. (the extra special oily version)

From Little Voice

“…there’ll be girls across the nation that will eat this up babe…”

.

Funny.

So what do I write about.

Oh that’s easy.

I write about the bane of my existence since I drew my first breath.

Men.

Playlist

Blues Traveler

Run Around.

You’ve got mail!

Men

*What is IDGAS syndrome?

IDGAS is a sever case of ennui (eeyu whee) French for “I don’t give a durn.”.

Symptoms include a general cynical apathy that usually comes about 3pm on Friday. It’s generally seen in folks right before Happy Hour. Or it might be seen after the new boss proposes THEIR way of handling “stuff” at the 4:30pm Staff Meeting. Also on Friday. Right after new boss gives the staff “homework” on this “newer, no better way of doing “stuff””. This general apathy and emotionless response is accompanied by the person in question mumbling to themself. “I Don’t Give A …”. IDGAS has a slight mutation that may also be seen. In this variation, known as IJDGAS, the patient will be known to also mumble, “I Just Don’t Give A …”.

I think, with further study, this condition will receive greater interest in the research community. Along with ample government funding for further study. 😀

Sincerely,
Ann, IJDGAS sufferer since 4:45 pm this afternoon. 🙂

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0 commentsMen
Posted Jun-20-08 23:58:46 PDT Updated Jun-21-08 12:12:31 PDTI ‘m just sick of the male half of my human group.

Just sick of them.

I don’t see their purpose anymore.

So far as I’ve seen most of them get odd and stupid as they grow older. Just old, odd and stupid. And vain.

Why am I as a female supposed to humor this?

This week a grown man with an advanced degree was going to go to work with a stain on their shirt the size of a stealth bomber and they were upset because their wife didn’t see it. What? This is a grown, college educated man. A man who still needs his mommy.

I thought about this for a bit.

I have a theory now.

The problem with men? They haven’t been weaned yet. They are still nursing.

Think of it. Large breasts. In a man’s life what is the one activity that has in a man’s life combined their two passions. Seriously now think.

time passes

the guy grouses and then farts.

that was conversation

Okay back?

Here’s my theory. I think that the reason why men want, no need, large breasts is because of the conditioned response between breasts and food.

Large breasts, somewhere in the primitive first forming parts of their brains, equate large breasts with food. That’s all a little baby sees. That’s it. They have this terrible pang in their little stomachs and this great big soft round thing is stuck in his face, he sucks on the great big soft round thing stuck in his face, and bingo. No more pang. He will keep eating until his little belly is full and he is satisfied. AND THEN he falls asleep. Sound familiar? How many grown men have you seen do this? Next to sticking his little tiny baby hand in his diaper it’s the most fun to be had in the very early stages of baby developement. Then in some terrible catastrophic truama that breast is taken away. Weaning. For the rest of their life man is looking for that big round warm soft thing that he can suck on to make the pang go away. Till his belly is full. And he can roll over and go to sleep.

Enter large breasted women.

Oral fixations.

Sexual attraction.

And the madonna complex.

Why women don’t have this problem I don’t know.

Lemmie think on it.

So I did think on it.

You’ve got mail!
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1 commentYou’ve got mail!
Posted Jun-19-08 18:20:16 PDT Updated Jun-27-08 10:29:26 PDTHey. How’s it goin’.

New here? Words in blue are links to other areas of the blog.

Happy reading, Author Ann

*Post Card from the Boonies of Life

*Postcards from the Road

*question of the day

*Do you have these songs on your playlist…

Coming Soon?

Heck no it’s here!!! The first issue of the RedNeck Politico .

It’s the quaint Diary of a RedNeck politco in a Conservative world. Or if the Republicans win? Diary of a Red Neck politico in a Liberal world. Hey I’m Biparty (aka Independent) I can go both ways.

I’ve been reading political blogs again. I know, Makes me cranky too. Nothing like being called a cranky old feminist to ruin a perfectly good day. Unless you suffer from IJDGAS syndrome like I do. Then the whole experience becomes grist for a blog. So don’t miss this odd farts take on politics RedNeck style.

Stay tuned.

And

If you want to know this day in HERStory? Look for future post called, “The Cranky Old Feminist Does Politics or How I lost my innocence during the Dem. Party primaries.” . Stay tuned!!

New entries daily.

Exit > Blogs
Comment|Report this post
0 commentsjust numbers
Posted Jun-18-08 01:33:32 PDT Updated Jun-19-08 20:01:36 PDTironchassis ( 63)
Member since: Nov-11-04 12:07:45 PST
Location: United States
26,656 views
Weird to think that to some folks all we are is just numbers. Unfortunately even thougth this is alot of views my numbers just seem to be lacking to some folks. I don’t get this. These views represent folks who’ve read 12 dogs and a blog. I love these people. They are the “gentle reader” who I write each blog too (unless specified). I’m sorry this is a lot of nice people who’ve read my blog and if “grippy butt” can’t appreciate that? Well they can just go kiss a bear’s butt!

Now if you will excuse me “gentle reader” I’m going to write some more about Alice’s Adventures. Next “postcard” tomorrow. TTFN, Ann

Post Cards

Sent a long letter gets back a post card times are hard.

Please note all words in blue are a link to another part of the blogs.

Left click to activate.

Some are from home.
Post Card from the Boonies of Life

Some are from the road.
Postcards from the Road

All are from life.
Going to sleep in. Feed the dogs and hug the kid. And write. .

If you try reading this blog via Recent post or Archives it won’t make sense. You have to follow the links. It’s the only way to tell the story otherwise it’s weird and disjointed. You’ll loose the story completely.

Do you have these songs on your playlist… Will update as needed.

question of the day ?

No more What did I learn? Now question of the day. It will change daily.

Exit > Blogs

Comment|Report this post
1 commentPost Cards from the road
Posted Jun-17-08 21:06:52 PDT Updated Jun-17-08 23:51:46 PDT12 dog regulars. Blog still under construction. Till I’m finished will update here daily:

“So what did I learn? ” ( Blog under construction.

Exit > Blogs
Comment|Report this post
0 commentsA quick message.
Posted Jun-17-08 15:00:54 PDTfrom Author Ann.

click here > Blog under construction
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0 commentsSummer breeze
Posted Jun-17-08 13:58:04 PDT Updated Jun-17-08 21:33:13 PDTWhat was it about summer and this place. He never understood. There she sat, a grown woman, lips covered in milk and Sugar Pops. He looked at her. Something about the place. “This old heart of mine…” He had to laugh at that fact. Isley Brothers on the radio. He looked her in the eyes. It really is all in the eyes isn’t. On impulse he leaned over the kitchen table to kiss her….

So the question of the day is this:

If her lips were covered in milk and Sugar Pops? Would you kiss her with your “eyes shut” or with your “eyes wide open”?

“On impulse he leaned over the kitchen table to kiss her….”

…drip….

… drop….

…drip….

Sigh. Arrgh. What a pleasant memory to be intruded on by a …”

Opening her eyes, Alice read the note. Click Me?

“Summer breeze makes me feel fine Blowing through the jasmine in my mind…”

She read the Playlist. notes. Who knew.

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